The Crochet Swim Suit Fail

Oh guys, this suit.

So, ya'll know that I'm on the hunt for the perfect mom suit to lasso my ladies/wrangle my backside/work some miracles and I really, really thought this suit would be the one.

Fact: I have even seen it on other mamas on Instagram and thought "oh, look how fab they are!"

Not so much.

If you are trim and slim, and want to be appropriate at the pool or disguise a few teensy stretch marks, then honestly, this suit is for you. It's really quite beautiful. I ordered the suit in navy because it's on sale but the classic black is just so chic.


and yes, this is a big BUT,
if you have any bulges, lumps or bumps in your midsection that you are hoping to disguise then please gawd do not try this suit on.


See that gorgeous crochet pattern?
Go ahead, take a look, especially around the model's belly button area...
Yeah, that pattern stretches out over lumps and distorts, drawing the eye to your puffier sections.

I happened to have a crocheted flower just over my belly button that went from a sweet knit daisy to a Venus Fly Trap the second it hit my mama belly. 

Enough said.

And the hunt continues. 


  1. Aahhh the postpartum swim suit is quite a dilemma! Girl, Z is almost 14 months and I am still sporting those lumps!!! JCrew one pieces and Albion has a few that I have ordered for swim classes we start in a month. Oh and I'll be making time for a cleanse before I skip it on... Jk well kinda jk'ing...

  2. dont be too hard on yourself...pretty sure you gotta be like 6 ft tall and 110lbs to pull of that suit! xo jillian - cornflake dreams

  3. That sucks! This suit is so pretty I was really hoping it would be cute on too

  4. Omg hahaha this review is hilarious. I'm so sorry it didn't work out :( swimsuit shopping post babe is the worst! I still wear two pieces because I haven't found a one piece that is flattering... however I'm still not 100% confident in a two piece anymore.

  5. I always loved this suit but figured all my chub would be sticking out through the crochet like bubbles to pop. That's a pass! ;)

  6. HAHAH stop making me laugh so hard reading these at work!!!

  7. Love this recap of the suit fitting but honestly, I would have never thought this would look great on anyone that wasn't a 110b stick. But you never know until you try sometimes....

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  9. Such a shame that suit didn't work out - it's so cute!


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