An Ode to my pre-baby Boobs

Dear Pre-Baby Boobs,

I'm so sorry that I ever wished for you to be bigger, that I never appreciated your ability to hold yourself up in a strapless dress or be supported by a thin tube top.

You were always there for me, happily pointing in the same direction and easily corraled by a cheap bra from the Juniors section of Target. 

I'm sorry that I never paid you more respect, bought you the good bras from Nordstrom, had you professionally measured or bragged about you more. Forgive me, I was young and naive.

I thought I spared you. You couldn't feed the baby and I didn't resent you. Instead, I celebrated the prospect of you bouncing back to your old selves and me being able to drink all of the wine.

I'm sorry for what happened to you.

The doctor told me that I gained just the right amount of weight, but you bore the brunt of the pregnancy flux. My pre-pregnancy jeans can stretch to manage the load that is my hips but those pre- pregnancy bras are not match for you.

I miss you.

Will you come back?

I promise to buy you nice things, to treat you with kindness and the respect you deserve.

I'll be here waiting, silky backless top in hand. You know where to find me. 

Please come back.

I love you.


Strapless dress, no bra. 

Single tear.


  1. lol omg this made me laugh :) sooo i am actually loving my pregnancy boobs! im really hoping they dont get crazy in the next few months/post-birth/post-breast-feeding... eh yah wishful thinking! xo jillian - cornflake dreams

  2. Hahaha girl you're so funny! I already told Theo when I get pregnant my boobs are going to be so big and gross. I'm pretty big now as it is and my boobs get so swollen around my period I'm going to be wearing a H when I get pregnant, No cute!!

  3. This made me giggle. Your old boobs were fabulous. I have seen them! But your new boobs are great too!

  4. ha! I'm sure your hubs still loves them! I've already told my husband that I'll be getting a lift after we're done making babies.

  5. This is hilarious! I loved it!

  6. OMG I'm half laughing and crying at this!! I feel the same way...I am about to graduate to yet ANOTHER bra size, and I'm only 17 weeks... :( I'm not ok with it.

    Mallory @ Channeling My Inner Jackie

  7. this made me laugh as I can totally relate! My hips never went down and my boobs went back to about half a cup size larger than I was.

  8. I feel you!! Except I started off with some natural large babes! And now...ugh I hate to think what will be of them when we are done nursing!!

  9. YES! All of this just yes, I haven't even had my baby yet, but I already feel this way about my boobs. I so didn't give my small boobs enough credit.

  10. *Single tear* lol this post made me laugh! I am already dreading this for whenever I get pregnant!

  11. I could have definitely written these exact words...Post baby boobs BLOW!! Plus add breastfeeding to that and they make them even worse and mine are still huge....and saggy. I hate them. ohhhhh the things we know now. Love this ode :)

  12. Oh girl...I constantly described my boobs as that of a 12 year old boy after I stopped breastfeeding. De-pressing!

  13. omg this is hysterical! I am LOVING my boobs so far! Don't scare me! haha xoxo


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