So, here's what I know for sure these days:
Truth: Strangers look upon me with pity.
Or shock.

Truth: My stretch marks weren't even kind enough to appear in a symmetrical pattern or in matching places. One hip bears a light pink lightening bolt, the other remains untouched (for now).

Truth: My feet are so swollen that they hurt to bend. 
And I can't find my ankles.
And now even my flip flops leave marks on my feet.

Truth: All of my lady lumps rest on top of each other.
Oh yeah, let your imagination run wild with that one.

Truth: I asked my husband if he was ready for the baby to get here and he said, "I'm really excited to see him and for you to get back to normal." I replied, "you mean physically?" and there was a long pause followed by a very unsure sounding "yeeeeeah."

Truth: I want to nest, do a million more projects and vaccume everything, but then I think about how wonderful a nap sounds and decide that I really should leave my mom some projects to do around here while she's visiting for a month. Sorry, mom.

Truth: I only have two items of clothing that really fit anymore.
I wear the rest anyway.

Truth: I can no longer twist enough to make sure that I won't smash into another car trying to pull out of a parking spot at the same time that I am. At this point, I just go for it, hoping a fender bender will inspire my doctor to induce me. 

Truth: I wake myself up with my own snoring.
A lot. 

Truth: I feel like a science experiement. 

Truth: I would commit murder to have a cold Corona Light with a lime.

Truth: I eat whatever I want, whenever I want because the all you can eat buffet is quickly shutting down around my house sized self.

Truth: When this baby comes, I will love him forever, but with a cocktail and turkey sandwich in hand. 

Image Map


  1. I can't imagine how you're feeling, but it will all be worth it very soon! You're still adorable in my book! :)

  2. You are hilarious!!! I absolutely love these truths and feel like I could have written them all myself when I was preggo!!! It's just crazy what we go through, but amazing how we forget and within no time, want to do it all over again!! My baby just turned ONE and I'm now comfortable with the thought of pregnancy a few more months.

  3. Too funny and cute and wayyyy too real haha! It felt so great to get that baby out of my body. I know a lot of people hate how they look after, but I was just so happy to not be a whale I didn't care. Freeeeedom!!!! Any day now =)

  4. hahha love the last truth :) makes all the other ones worth it, right?! xo jillian - stop by! I'm hosting a Capri Blue Candle Giveaway! cornflake dreams 

  5. Oh girl - I'm hoping little Mr. decides to bless you with his presence soon!!

  6. Haha!! I love this, hoping your little one decides to make an appearance sooner rather than later!! xo

  7. Oh girl! Almost there!! I have been really feeling it these days so I can only imagine how you are feeling!!

  8. Oh my gosh, these are hysterical! I feel like I can relate to so many of these already so I can just imagine how I'll be when I am as far along as you. Hang in there - hopefully it will be any day now! - M

  9. This is awesome! I'm a few weeks behind you but I'm definitely at that tipping point! Hoping it won't be too much longer for you now :)


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.