How To Take A Toddler Trick-Or-Treating In 23 Easy StepsNovember 01, 2016
How To Take A Toddler Trick-Or-Treating In 23 Easy Steps
1. Wait for parenting partner to come home from work - this is a two man job.
2. Start the pep talk about the costume. We did this for weeks but I really cranked it up on Halloween day. "We love our shark costume! What does a shark say?! Are you so excited to be a shark?!?" is a great place to start. Be sure to say it in your most annoying mom voice so it really sinks in.
3. Attempt to feed toddler a "real" dinner. At least establish a carbohydrate base of Goldfish to hold down all of the oncoming chocolate.
4. Wrangle toddler into costume - be sure to anticipate items such as shoes or activities such as face painting. You will not want to do that costume twice. If you misjudge your plan of attack, ditch the face paint but not the shoes (from experience).
5. Practice holding the candy bucket and saying "trick or treat!"
6. Try to take a family photo - give that up immediately.
7. Debate with partner the merits of a bike/wagon/stroller and decide your fate. We went with "I'm sure he'll do fine walking" and regretted it by house two. Learn from our mistakes.
8. Hit the streets. Steer clear of all scary looking masks, hatchets and lawn decor.
9. Console toddler as he bursts into very loud tears every single time someone answers their door.
10. Advise toddler that he is not to run into a stranger's home after they open the door and he scream-cries in their face.
12. Remind toddler not to approach doggies at a run because he is, in fact, dressed like a giant stuffed dog toy.
13. Yell "say trick or treat!" and "say thank you!" one million times.
14. Pick toddler out of the road after he sits to dig through his bucket (see #7)
15. Attempt to subtly steer toddler towards home (but he is on to you).
16. Start making up fibs about Halloween being over in 5 minutes
17. Give up with zig-zag sidewalk walking at snail's pace, go with the shoulder ride.
18. If tantrum ensues, give up on the shoulder rides, move straight into fireman carrying limp toddler body toward your driveway.
19. Make it into the safety of home, consider putting toddler to bed in his shark costume.
20. Pry candy from toddler's sleepy and shockingly powerful fists.
21. Turn off all lights and hide from other trick-or-treaters.
22. Eat all of toddler's good candy.
23. Drink all of the good wine. You've earned it!