It's hard. And forever.
It's hard. And Forever. And Exhausting.
Marriage + Parenthood.
How are we supposed to do both?
Lately, with the home reno, both of us adjusting to our new roles (me at home with my tiny tyrant and Justin in a new work position) and living in a temporary home it feels like our time together is all business. Budgets and bath time and who has the energy to cook dinner (not me, I'm happy to drink wine for dinner) - it can all be just so tedious.
I miss dressing up to go out, staying up late and then laying in bed all day, traveling just the two of us with tiny little carry on bags and my wedding body (irrelevant, but whatever).
It can be so easy to fall into the role of Mom and Dad and not Husband and Wife - or hell, not even Justin and Stephanie.
I needed a break from Mom and Dad.
I needed to be just Stephanie and Justin.
Thankfully, a crazy thoughtful friend of ours insisted on keeping the babe on a random week day a few weeks ago. I ran a million errands, got my oil changed (wild!), got a mani and planned to meet Justin at the new house for a budget meeting without the babe crying in my ear the entire time.
Exactly one hour before we were supposed to meet to discuss the price of sub flooring, my husband and I were able to sneak away for just 45 minutes of just us time.
And what did we do?
Acted like mature adults and sprinted over to Dave and Busters, ordered ridiculously expensive drinks and I dominated my husband in Mario Cart. It was the shortest 45 minutes of my week but I soaked up every second. We needed time to just be.
And P.S. "us" is a super smart assy couple who treats their dear friend caring for their child to texts like this:
Balancing our roles as parents and spouses, our friendships and hobbies and our family time has proven to be a challenge that leaves me feeling like I'm never quite doing it all just right. But I do know that all it took was 45 minutes for me to remember why I was doing Life with the guy who sucks at Mario Cart (he's going to divorce me for that).
If that's all it takes, 45 minutes here or there, then why are we (and I'm guessing a ton of other first time parents) not prioritizing us more? Why is the focus all about our baby? Or our jobs? Why don't we intentionally create time just to be married?
I want to blame the fact that there are only 24 hours in a day, but you know what they say, Beyonce has the same 24 hours and all that. If she and Jay-Z can make it happen, so can we.
So tonight I raise my wine glass and say here's to marriage.
To doing Life with one person, forever, no matter how long that is, no matter how many babes we make and choose to raise instead of releasing into the wild, no matter how many boxes of crap are stacked all around us in our living room.
Here's to us.