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SAHM Seeks Open Minded, Non-Helicopter, Wine Enthusiast SAHM Friend

wanna be my friend?

SAHM Seeks Open Minded, Non-Helicopter, Wine Enthusiast SAHM Friend

I am: a lover of yoga pants, enjoy hiding my lack of bra with a blanket scarf, never seem to have clean floors, think my kid is awesome but rarely say so to strangers and know that my play room is covered in crumbs and spilled sippy cups. I speak fluent sarcasm, Starbucks and wine and can enjoy all of the above morning, noon or night. I am open to new adventures (but only if they occur before nap time) and used to be incredibly punctual. I can also sing all of the words to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song, even though my husband once tried to convince me that they were singing "we're splitting the seams, we're full of beans". I rarely answer my phone but am quick with an emoji text reply and I never make my bed.

You are: non-judgemental, open to allowing our children to "free play" in my gated play room, not opposed to purposefully avoiding Pinterest-y activities, willing to ignore my dirty floors, open to feeding our toddlers Chic Fil A and other processed foods, stay home most of the time and are available to get together at 9am on a week day to hang/burn the hours until nap time. You are also able to overlook the fact that I may not shower for days at a time. Bonus points if you must drive past a Starbucks to get from my house to yours, if you have an inappropriate sense of humor and think your kid is sometimes kinda rogue. Double bonus points if you own more than one brand of dry shampoo at all times (but ultimately know that Suave is best), believe that a somewhat matching work out top and bottom is an outfit and expect a glass of wine during late afternoon play dates. 

We both enjoy long walks around the neighborhood (especially if that walk is in the direction of the new doughnut place), commiserating over our shared exhaustion and trusting that our children will learn to play together without our constant, um, guidance.

Whistlers need not apply 
(if you got that Big Bang reference, you're in)

Stephanie [Olive and Tate]
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  1. Come hang in CLT now. Blanket scarves for bras all day erryday.

  2. Hahaha I love it! My kind of girl!

  3. Very funny, love this! Relate to every single line, other than the making your bed part. It's the only thing that makes me feel like I have my shit together, even with a bangin hangover. If we had kids the same age I would suggest we absolutely get together for a wine filled afternoon playdate...but my "little" is 11, and since I embarrass her at every turn she's trying REAL hard to avoid me lately. PS: are you talking about the new doughnut place where you pick the glaze and the topping, etc? I walked in last week, got overwhelmed and headed to the bakery for a cupcake.

  4. Tweens are terrifying! and yes! So here's a trick for the doughnut place - grab the little sheet of paper and scroll down to the very bottom and choose the cinnamon g likes the regular with vanilla frosting and rainbow sprinkles and justin puts, like fruity pebbles on his (eye roll) xo!

  5. If only you lived closer! I need a friend that appreciates my love of wine and starbucks and sarcasm.

  6. I second Elise and say come to Charlotte. You had me at dry shampoo. Well, let's be honest you had me at fluent sarcasm and wine. Pretense was for my twenties when I was still trying to impress. My girlfriends all have a rule, you get one courtesy clean, after that if you stop by and judge my dirty house, we weren't meant to be friends!

    1. One courtesy clean haha I am absolutely adopting this! It really is genius!

  7. Too bad we don't live closer! We could be best buds!

  8. Gahhh I SERIOUSLY wish we lived closer! Portland has lots of good donut places...just saying :) Actually one of my good friends from HS just had a baby/bought a house in Charleston and so I'm pushing to get a SC trip on the calendar for 2016! So if we do, we'll most likely come to Greenville for a day or two and we are definitely catching up (over wine, obviously)

  9. Girl, you're speaking my language...and I, too, spend most days chasing after my little one sans-shower -- right here in Greenville! I'm all for day play dates :)

  10. Seriously, friends who bring Starbucks to play dates are the best kinds of friends.

  11. Sounds like my kind of friendship! If we end up moving to North Carolina in May we should make this happen <3

  12. Yes, yes, and yes to all of the above. I'm pretty sure there's Starbucks and Community Tap between my house and yours so we can pick up coffee & wine! We're ready for a play date anytime? Emily & girls

  13. Were we separated at birth?!? The first real solid I gave my son at 7ish months was part of a Chick Fil-A fry. #winning. Pinterest = ways to make you feel like a sub-par mom. I have no boobs left after 2 kids so I'd use said blanket scarf to hide the fact that I'm built like a 12 year old boy up top. Aaand you just reminded me that I am scraping the bottom of the barrel with my Suave dry shampoo because I can't ever freaking remember to grab a new can the 17 times I'm in Target a week! ;)

  14. I think you are my spirit animal.

  15. I realize this is an old post, but I just found your blog. This post makes me want to quit my job and move to your state, because I'm pretty sure we're soulmates. Right down to the BBT reference.


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