SAHM Seeks Open Minded, Non-Helicopter, Wine Enthusiast SAHM FriendDecember 02, 2015
wanna be my friend?
SAHM Seeks Open Minded, Non-Helicopter, Wine Enthusiast SAHM Friend
I am: a lover of yoga pants, enjoy hiding my lack of bra with a blanket scarf, never seem to have clean floors, think my kid is awesome but rarely say so to strangers and know that my play room is covered in crumbs and spilled sippy cups. I speak fluent sarcasm, Starbucks and wine and can enjoy all of the above morning, noon or night. I am open to new adventures (but only if they occur before nap time) and used to be incredibly punctual. I can also sing all of the words to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song, even though my husband once tried to convince me that they were singing "we're splitting the seams, we're full of beans". I rarely answer my phone but am quick with an emoji text reply and I never make my bed.
You are: non-judgemental, open to allowing our children to "free play" in my gated play room, not opposed to purposefully avoiding Pinterest-y activities, willing to ignore my dirty floors, open to feeding our toddlers Chic Fil A and other processed foods, stay home most of the time and are available to get together at 9am on a week day to hang/burn the hours until nap time. You are also able to overlook the fact that I may not shower for days at a time. Bonus points if you must drive past a Starbucks to get from my house to yours, if you have an inappropriate sense of humor and think your kid is sometimes kinda rogue. Double bonus points if you own more than one brand of dry shampoo at all times (but ultimately know that Suave is best), believe that a somewhat matching work out top and bottom is an outfit and expect a glass of wine during late afternoon play dates.
We both enjoy long walks around the neighborhood (especially if that walk is in the direction of the new doughnut place), commiserating over our shared exhaustion and trusting that our children will learn to play together without our constant, um, guidance.
Whistlers need not apply
(if you got that Big Bang reference, you're in)