Parent Trap

March 31, 2015



Marriage.
It's hard. And forever.

Parenthood.
It's hard. And Forever. And Exhausting.

Marriage + Parenthood.
How are we supposed to do both?

Lately, with the home reno, both of us adjusting to our new roles (me at home with my tiny tyrant and Justin in a new work position) and living in a temporary home it feels like our time together is all business. Budgets and bath time and who has the energy to cook dinner (not me, I'm happy to drink wine for dinner) - it can all be just so tedious.

I miss dressing up to go out, staying up late and then laying in bed all day, traveling just the two of us with tiny little carry on bags and my wedding body (irrelevant, but whatever).

It can be so easy to fall into the role of Mom and Dad and not Husband and Wife - or hell, not even Justin and Stephanie. 

I needed a break from Mom and Dad.
I needed to be just Stephanie and Justin.

Thankfully, a crazy thoughtful friend of ours insisted on keeping the babe on a random week day a few weeks ago. I ran a million errands, got my oil changed (wild!), got a mani and planned to meet Justin at the new house for a budget meeting without the babe crying in my ear the entire time.

Exactly one hour before we were supposed to meet to discuss the price of sub flooring, my husband and I were able to sneak away for just 45 minutes of just us time.

And what did we do?

Acted like mature adults and sprinted over to  Dave and Busters, ordered ridiculously expensive drinks and I dominated my husband in Mario Cart. It was the shortest 45 minutes of my week but I soaked up every second. We needed time to just be. 

Be us. 

And P.S. "us" is a super smart assy couple who treats their dear friend caring for their child to texts like this:




Balancing our roles as parents and spouses, our friendships and hobbies and our family time has proven to be a challenge that leaves me feeling like I'm never quite doing it all just right. But I do know that all it took was 45 minutes for me to remember why I was doing Life with the guy who sucks at Mario Cart (he's going to divorce me for that).

If that's all it takes, 45 minutes here or there, then why are we (and I'm guessing a ton of other first time parents) not prioritizing us more? Why is the focus all about our baby? Or our jobs? Why don't we intentionally create time just to be married? 

I want to blame the fact that there are only 24 hours in a day, but you know what they say, Beyonce has the same 24 hours and all that. If she and Jay-Z can make it happen, so can we.

So tonight I raise my wine glass and say here's to marriage. 
To doing Life with one person, forever, no matter how long that is, no matter how many babes we make and choose to raise instead of releasing into the wild, no matter how many boxes of crap are stacked all around us in our living room. 

Here's to us.

Cheers, love.

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13 comments

  1. I completely agree with you. Sometimes all it takes is just a little time away to remind you that you actually do love your spouse and you can talk about things other than the color of your baby's poop.

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  2. Seriously you have no idea how much I love reading your blog. Your posts are so honest and relatable. As first time parents to a 9 month old I completely understand where you are coming from. I have struggled so much to find the balance in all of my roles and it feels like as soon as you feel like you're rocking the mom thing your failing the wife thing. Thank you for always saying what's on everyones mind!

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  3. This was great! And YES, its so much about the quality time. Glad that you shared this and got that time together.

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  4. Yes. To everything in this post! You have a way of writing that just makes me want to sigh in relief and say, "Thank God it's not just me!" Cheers to 45 minutes for love here and there!:)

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  5. Yes to this entire post, except my husband and I still aren't making the time, 2.5 years post baby. Something's gotta give though... It sucks living away from all family.

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  6. I am a huge fan of Mario Tennis on our old N64 in the den after babies are put to bed! After a few games we are laughing so hard and panting like we had a great workout! You are so right, every little stolen minute is so important :)

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  7. Great post! Potentially losing the joy of marriage is definitely something that scares me for when it's time for us to pop out some kiddos. I'm glad to hear that Mario Cart and alcohol can fix anything :)

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  8. Stephanie, your posts are just so real and encouraging. Thanks for writing with such an honest and refreshing voice. I always look forward to your new posts!

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  9. Brilliantly put as always! I just love the text ha! It is so important and happy parents make for a happy baby or so they say x

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  10. Thanks for this! Sent this to my husband, and his response was "you want to play Mario Kart with me?" :-P Oh, men... But I always enjoy your honesty :-)

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  11. aw love this! we relish our hour of time together when violet is asleep and before we have to go to bed :) xo jillian - cornflake dreams

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  12. I 100% feel you on this one. I think we were crazy to start building a house and raise a newborn all in one year. But isn't it a fun ride?

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  13. Hi there! I love to your blogs and really awesome posts. When need your kids balance bike just logged more information's.

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