A Letter To My Friend, The Toddler Mama

March 09, 2015


To My Friend and Toddler Mama,

I haven't been able to stop thinking about our conversation in the car. 
I wish that I could have found just the right words to say to make you feel better about this current stage of mamahood that you're fighting through.

I hate that I don't know what crappy book to recommend, the strategy that you should attempt next or how to assure you that it will get better. 

What I do know is that, no matter what, your daughter knows that she is loved for all that she is, just as she is. 

For every time out, consequence and Mean Mom Eye she is shot, she is hugged, praised and cherished twice over. 

She is wild, free and stunningly intelligent - all of which combine to create a frustratingly unique toddler creature - but she is also creative, independent and fiercely herself. She can only be those things because you have empowered her to be a confident mini version of a soon-to-be amazing woman. You are teaching her to be kind with each tuck of her curls, strong with every moment of secretly supervised independent play and self assured with the constant fuss you make over her Crayola artwork. 

One day she will aspire to mother her babe just as you mothered her. She will sneak into the nursery and listen for the soft breathing and desperately hope that she is making the choices that you made so that her daughter will feel as cherished as she did when she was snuggled safely in her toddler bed. 

Truthfully, none of us are truly winning at this mom thing, we're all just doing the best we can with what we have. When you lay in bed tonight and grade your Mommy Report Card, grade yourself as I would grade you. Look at yourself through her eyes. Give yourself a little bit of grace and an ass load of compassion. Remember that you chose kind words (even if they were said through gritted teeth), hid in your bathroom to cry tears of frustration instead of taking it out on her and, at the very least, survived another day in the Toddler Trenches. 

While I may not always know just the right thing to say, I am always here when you need me. 

Love,

Me.

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12 comments

  1. This is so beautiful. She's lucky to have you as a friend. I agree, none of us are winning at this mom thing. I wish we could all empower each other as you have her. Thanks for sharing this with all of us.

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  2. We are our own worst critics when it comes to Mom-ing and it's especially hard when you get backlash from other moms but this post is just lovely and you're a great friend!

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  3. Such pretty words! You are a sweet friend, for sure!

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  4. Beautiful- what a wonderful reminder to us all to be the biggest cheerleaders for others :)

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  5. Beautifully written! My girls are no longer toddlers, I have beaten myself up over my parenting every step of the way - I think it comes with the territory! But to have lovely, warm supportive fellow mums around you, I believe makes all the difference. You are a fantastic friend to take the time to write this when you have your own trials at the moment. You are a girl who has her priorities in the right order! Bless you both xxx

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  6. That was the perfect thing to say. I love this!

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  7. This is so thoughtful. You are an incredible friend. <3 Although, I am not a mother yet. It warms my heart to hear this sweet encouragement. <3

    www.sanchezfamilyoftwo.blogspot.com

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  8. aww this is so sweet! you're a great friend.

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  9. Friends - thank goodness for those that we can pick and make family. Everyday we question everything we are doing, but one hug, one caress of the cheek and you think "Today, today I did pretty okay" Love you ladies!! xoxo

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  10. What a beautiful friend you are, Steph! And what a sweet, sweet letter! I needed to hear this today, too. :) Thanks!

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  11. This is such a beautiful post, I seriously felt as though you were speaking to me :) thank you so much!! xo

    I link to five of my favourite posts I've read over the week every friday and I am going to include this one

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  12. I love this. You're right, none of is are truly winning, merely surviving at times, getting through day by day, navigating out way through the trenches if toddlerhood!! Good work, mama!!!! XO

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