Southern Belle Status: Revoked


I think I'm about to completely lose my Southern Belle Card.
Or, at the very least, be disowned by my mother.

Ya'll, I have not written one single thank you note from our Wedding.
I kept up with all of them through our engagement parties and couples shower, but once we got closer to the wedding and we knew (although it wasn't public knowledge yet) that we were moving, I just lost control over the process. My shower gifts and wedding gifts have gone completely unacknowledged for at least five and a half months now.

I should probably admit that not only was I raised better, but it used to actually be my job to write thank you notes. I worked in non-profit fundraising and while I did do special events and social media, the most important part of my job was to acknowledge the gifts given to our organization. Translation: I have no excuses.

I honestly feel terrible about how behind I've gotten.We received so many thoughtful gifts - Justin's grandmother gave me his baby book that she had been keeping just for his future wife's wedding shower (and no, I have not sent that thank you note. ugh.)- and I would never want anyone to feel we don't appreciate their generosity or love their thoughtfulness. So, not only has my mom been reminding me and judging me from afar to get on them, but the other day, I got the dreaded text from a bridesmaid...

"hey, did ya'll ever get our wedding gift?"

Yes, yes we did. In fact, it lives on our counter and we use it every day, but we are heathens and haven't felt the need to thank you for it.

And then, to add insult to injury, I found a stack of thank you notes that I DID write to thank people for hosting events or special acts of kindness over the Wedding Weekend in my car.
Unsent.
For months.

At that point, I sprinted to my laptop and ordered our thank you notes from Minted. I literally paid to rush ship them - although at this point, I don't think a few extra days will change people's minds about my lack of etiquette training, but it's worth a shot.

So, I've gone so far as to lay out my thank you notes, request Justin bring home good pens from work and poor a glass of wine or two....

Thank You Note Photo: Maria Burton Photography

But I haven't written a damn one.
They just sit out on the coffee table waiting for me.

Two nights later (different glass of wine):


Today, I take a stand.

I'm headed to Starbucks to escape the endless re-runs of Dr. Phil (I can't resist the crazy...it's the best background noise ever) and the constant chores that I could do instead of writing these thank you notes. I may run to the post office and apply for my new passport No, I'm going straight to Starbucks and writing my thank you notes. All.Day.Today.

No matter what.

P.S. Traditional etiquette states that not only do guests of a wedding have one year to give a gift, the Bride has one year to send a hand written acknowledgement. So technically, I'm not that screwed.

P.P.S. I just Googled the above addendum and EmilyPost.com immediately proved me wrong:
Contrary to popular myth, the happy couple does not have a year’s grace period.  
All thank you notes should be written within three months of the receipt of the gift. Ideally, a response should be written on the day you receive a wedding gift.
(Screw you, Emily)
 

13 comments

  1. With thank you cards that cute I'm sure people won't mind them being a smidge late. As for Emily, doesn't she know how busy people get?? Emily Schmiliy I say!

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  2. Im sure that people understand and when they get them all will be well. Since the first of your thank you notes that I received (Actually I think that it was from Macy) I have always dubbed you the best thank you note writer ever!! So, they will be so enthralled by your excellent thank you note writing that will be transported right back to May and will not even realize that it is November!

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  3. laughed so hard reading this - my mom is a stickler for thank you notes!

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  4. I just about to comment that you had a year to send a note, but I guess I was in the dark as well! I'm sure that with a wedding and a move, people will be understanding.

    And, you may not loose your southern belle status, but yes, your mother will disown you...or worse, start calling you to ask if you have written them yet.

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  5. I completely know where you're coming from! I tried to get all of ours finished within 2 weeks of receipt of the gift (because my grandmother kept telling me if was rude if I didn't), and I succeeded for the most part. It was truly exhausting, though. I was so thankful for the gifts, but I spent so many late nights cranking out those thank you cards, and honestly after a while, it just kind of felt scripted. We still have gifts trickling in and I am seriously lagging behind on those cards... Maybe that's what I'll do tonight! Love your thank you cards!

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  6. Too funny! I just texted my friend this morning that she needs to get her thank you's out!! She got married in March. I sent mine out at four months but mainly because I was waiting for our professional photos. They are a pain but so necessary I'm sure your guests will just be glad to know you received their gifts!

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  7. Ha don't stress, things happen!! I did mine about a month after our wedding, but that was only because I knew the sooner I got that crap done, the sooner I could forget about it. Set a goal, like say 10 a day. It will keep you from getting overwhelmed and your hand being permanently cramped. I also enlisted my husband, even though his handwriting is atrocious, to do the thank yous for his friends and a few family members. Good luck! :)

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  8. Emily must not be from the South. Everyone knows you have a year after the wedding to write thank you notes! And plus, I'm sure everyone knows how busy y'all have been with your big move! No worries!

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  9. I did all of mine the week after the honeymoon and it was EXHAUSTING! I was thrilled when they were all done! Just think how happy/relieved you'll be when they're done!

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  10. I mean, you did move to Maine, which is kind of a really big deal. So no worries :) And also I can totally relate, I am the WORST when it comes to procrastinating stuff like this so you are not alone! (And if it makes you feel better, there were a handful of thank you notes from our wedding that I found unmailed like two years later and just never sent. Whoops.)

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  11. This is too funny! I'm sure people are understanding since you did just move far away. But I know how you feel. They are a burden and weigh heavily. I did mine quickly after we got married. I didn't give myself time to gripe and make excuses. And use your husband. He was there too, you shouldn't have to do it all alone!

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  12. Maybe I can do my thank you cards even before the wedding? :)

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  13. Thank god for this post, I have been SO mad at you - said me never.

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