Wednesday, August 24, 2016

 I just spent the morning labeling lunch boxes, signing paperwork and locating toddler shoes that fit, which can only mean one thing: it's officially The (Pre)School Year. Truth be told, with all the Sharpie covered prep ramping up, I'm starting to get a little nervous about all of the obligations that will soon be headed my way. Room Mom assignments, holiday party prep, staff breakfasts and class donations are just days away from being assigned, solicited and volunteered for and I am not up for the challenge. I mean, if last school year was any indication, I am officially the worst preschool teacher gift giver of all time (who knew you were supposed to bring in Valentine's Day gifts?). But as soon as the butterflies hit my stomach, I had a coffee fueled epiphany. 

This year, I'm taking a stand. 

This year I refuse to let preschool extracurriculars become yet another thing on my To Do List. And as much as I love how much my son grows, learns and accomplishes each year, I also refuse to put too much pressure on my kid and myself, because, really, it's just freaking preschool. Instead, I'm just going to have to say No to the following things:

1. Back To School Teacher Gifts

I learned my lesson last year and I am prepared for gifting teachers, admins, directors and aides on all of the holidays (major or otherwise) but I just can't with the Welcome Back teacher gift. We haven't even started yet! I promise to take in a Target gift card when my kid starts potty training and will try very hard to remember all of the teacher's birthdays, but a back to school gift is lost on me. I'm sure the other Mommies will do a great job of figuring out the perfect trinket to say "I hope my kid doesn't terrorize you this year" but I'm going to need that brain space to plan an appropriate St. Patrick's Day teacher gift that doesn't involve booze. 

2. Keeping Every Piece of Art

Oh the art. I love when my son makes art - he loves when he makes art - we all make a big fuss over the art. But then what? What do I do with all of the art!? Save it all? I just don't have that kind of storage. This year, after the fuss has been made, I am going to quietly trash some of the preschool art. Now, I'm no monster, I will obviously keep the good stuff (cotton ball sheep, I'm looking at you) but a coloring page with a few crayon scribbles just isn't going to make the cut this year. 

3. Gourmet Lunches

Last year I caught a peek at another mom unloading her babe's lunch and almost died of shock. Let me just say that my attempts at lunch packing did not hold a candle to her Toddler Bento Box complete with a turkey sandwich rolled and cut to look like sushi. All I could wonder was how long she spent that morning, screaming babies underfoot, making a sushi sandwich that a toddler clearly will not appreciate. Last year I let the bento lady get to me and thus spent way too much time crafting elaborate lunches that were hardly consumed. This year I'm sticking with the classic combo of Goldfish, mini muffins and raisins and calling it a day.

4. Attending Carnival Day (on a Saturday)

Dear School, 
I really like you guys, I promise, it's just that things are kinda crazy around here and organizing a family trip to school on a Saturday is just not going to happen. If I'm being honest, I can think of one million other ways I would rather spend a Saturday than herding my kid around a parking lot full of games that require both hand eye coordination and waiting in line (neither of which are his strong suit). If we promise to celebrate Fall at home with a hay bale and grocery store pumpkin can we get a pass on this one?

5. Theme Days Of Any Kind

If I have to find a special outfit, pack a special class snack, craft a goodie bag or do any "homework", then we're out. He's two, he's in this for the playground not "celebrate our home state week".

6. Parent Mass Emails 

While I do want to be informed on everything the teachers deem necessary, I do not want to buy Tupperware/candles/face wash/leggings from you just because our kids happen to be in the same 2K class. Trust me, I already buy most of that stuff from friends who bugged me on Facebook and the well is dry. So don't mind me while I unceremoniously delete you mass email and remove myself from the chain. 

Cheers to the new school year! 

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

33 Thoughts I Have When I'm In My Mom Car

1. WHAT is that smell.

2. I have got to remember to crack the windows at night so this thing can air out.

3. When will this kid learn to buckle himself in?

4. I should really start carrying full sized trash bags in this car. 

5. Why are all of my cup holders ALWAYS full.

6. I should get more cup holders.

7. Can you buy cup holders for cars? I wonder if stroller cup holders will clip on somewhere.

8. No, we cannot listen to Disney Radio. 

9. I can never find a pen when I need one.

10. Wonder if the bank will accept a check written in crayon...

11.  I should probably throw away yesterday's Chick-Fil-A trash before we drive through again today.

12. Maybe that smell is a chicken nugget lost under the seats somewhere.

13. Why is my steering wheel sticky?

14. Every place on Earth should have a drive-through. I will drive across town to the dry cleaner with a drive through and not think twice about it. If I opened a business, it would definitely have a drive through.

15. God, that counting app is annoying.

16. I wonder when the baby will actually wear headphones...

17. Listen to him counting! He's sooooo smart!

18. The Chick-Fil-A drive through girl just called me by name. At least she knows to double down on the Polynesian sauce. 

19. I will throw that iPad out the window if he doesn't start playing another damn app.

20. I wonder if I can get away with driving all the way home before he starts screaming for chicken nuggets.

21. *bites chicken nuggets into 100 pieces and hands them back*

22. Wait, does he have stickers?

23. No. No stickers on my windows.

24. Do we own Goo Gone?

25. Oh hey, Dad in the minivan, I see you rocking that kid wagon and I'm jealous of your DVD player. 

26. So many red lights, so few minutes until nap time.

27. I think my next car needs WIFI so we can stream anything other than THE COUNTING APP.

28. I wonder if this chicken nugget covered salad is really healthy. Like, could I just order a #1 combo instead?

29. Oh, no sir, don't you even think about falling asleep in this car!

30. *singing at the top of my lungs to prevent a car nap*

31. Almost home, almost home, almost home.

32. Please transfer, please transfer, please transfer. 

33. Ok, but seriously, what is that smell?

Monday, August 22, 2016

Southern Style Biscuits


What more can I say? 

I love biscuits so much that I actually set up a biscuit bar for our first Thanksgiving in Maine (for three total adults). I think I ate the majority of the biscuits myself but I don't care, they make me oh so happy. 

As it turns out not only is there is nothing better than a biscuit, there is also nothing easier to make from scratch. Seriously, you'll be shocked at how easy this recipe is. No more canned biscuits for you! 

Southern Style Biscuits


2 cups Bisquick
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup Sprite (could be diet)
1 Tablespoon of butter, roughly chopped into chunks
Half a stick of butter for greasing the pan
*you will not use this amount but will need eough to be able to hold it in your hand to grease the pan*
Pam cooking spray


pre-heat oven to 450 degrees
grease a glass 9" baking dish with the butter, set aside

Dump Bisquick into a large bowl
Fold in sour cream with a rubber spatula
Pour in Sprite

Mix with rubber spatula, dough will be very sticky but workable 
Scrape dough into the greased baking dish, spreading as evenly as possible

Add chunks of butter to the top - no order needed, just to give the biscuits a bit of a golden brown top
spray the top of the dough/butter with Pam

Bake 10-12 minutes

Slice into squares and serve warm! 

Southern Style Biscuits

Southern Style Biscuits